Dear friend,
Grace and peace from our Father and Lord Jesus Christ. Today is Monday, the day after we know by historic fact and by the truth of Holy Spirit living in us that Jesus rose from death. This week and this weekend have been absolutely incredible. I have journaled so much more than I will write here. I am running out of pens - three down (see picture below). And I have cried more, rejoiced more and hugged more strangers than I can ever remember doing.
Something about tragedy brings people together. And like all tragedy, God works it together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.
On this 40-day journey in the wilderness God has gifted me with so much than I can share.
One thing is the absolutely amazing church here. Two, in fact.* The one I have been going to regularly is a vibrant congregation that is hungry for Jesus. The pastor and his wife are really godly people, strong in the word and they keep everything centered on Jesus. Its really powerful to be around people, mostly all older than me, that I can glean from.
On Sunday, there was a halo around the sun while we were outside worshiping. Miraculous!
Here I am realizing that in most of the ministry I do in Thailand, I am the oldest. So there is such a refreshing sense of gratefulness dwelling in me to be around people that are (mostly) retired and yet, are so in love with God.
Some even remind me of my grandparents, and when I realized that - YEP, you guessed it - it made me cry, too!
Since both my parents have passed away and all my grandparents, I didn't really understand how having those people pour into your life was so significant. I guess I'll be doing a lot of crying as God shows me more why He used the verse He did which brought me here.
The verse He gave me was, "Get away with me and you'll recover your life!" From Matthew 11:28** in the Message Bible.
I want to be honest about this whole fasting thing, too. I started this blog, knowing that you may just want to get a chance to experience what a long fast is like. Prayerfully, its with the intent to encourage you to seek Holy Spirit in this way, too. However, I sense that I need to share more than just the good stuff.
This is not easy. I have so little strength today. And its been on and off the whole time. Totally unpredictable. I went to bed after an absolutely awesome Resurrection Sunday very very early. Somewhere between 6:30 and 7pm my head hit the pillow.
This morning when I finally looked at the clock, it was 11am. I am spending so much time resting in Him and sometimes that literally means RESTING. And I have to remember to listen to Him in those times. By just enjoying His tender presence.
His voice.
Doing nothing.
Just realizing how close He is.
And allowing more of that love to pour in.
Because another voice tries to enter in. The harder part, when my energy is so low, is rebuking the guilt and condemnation that is NOT from God.
No, I am not lazy.
No, I SHOULD NOT be doing something else.
A friend shared last week that, "It's not easy being me." We all laughed. And I think today, as I am battling, I am understanding what he may have meant. And I think even more about how our Savior responded to the battle... And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
So, today, my wise words are worship through the pain. Acknowledge Him. Tell Him you don't like this, but you trust Him anyway. He is God. He can take it. He is enough. And be reminded, as I was, that this (before we die) is the only time that we get to praise Him in the middle of what is difficult. Because in heaven, there is NO difficulty!
Can I get an Amen?!
Running to God, putting up my hands and celebrating Him in the middle of my pain is what I did, I am doing and I am going to do!
If you are going through something, I encourage you to join me. Here's what I'm listening to. When I was listening earlier, and got to the chorus in this song and they sang Hosanna, that's when I let it all go...
*Yesterday, I also went to another church for the first time. It was so powerful. The worship was AWESOME! They had a live re-enactment of the crucifixion. I want to share more, but it was so powerful, I think you need to see it. (I'll post when they put it on the website.)
From directly behind me a man was yelling, "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" My whole being shuddered and cried through the whole thing. I just wanted to scream out, "NOOOOO!" But I hear the Father say, "But dear Amy, I had to do this..." And Holy Spirit comes to comforts me.
When Jesus rose again. I was on my knees, with my hands in the air rejoicing. I am trying to identify what I felt - I would call it the most joyful sadness I have ever experienced.
**The Lord gave me this scripture February 13, 2017 in Thailand at a prayer group we call Receive. It happens to be written on the church to I go to here, that is also closest to where I am staying. AND yesterday, at the new church, the pastor shared it from the pulpit.
I know!?! Awesome God, huh?!?
Grace and peace from our Father and Lord Jesus Christ. Today is Monday, the day after we know by historic fact and by the truth of Holy Spirit living in us that Jesus rose from death. This week and this weekend have been absolutely incredible. I have journaled so much more than I will write here. I am running out of pens - three down (see picture below). And I have cried more, rejoiced more and hugged more strangers than I can ever remember doing.
Something about tragedy brings people together. And like all tragedy, God works it together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.
 |
| Our Sonrise Service outside at church at 7:30am |
One thing is the absolutely amazing church here. Two, in fact.* The one I have been going to regularly is a vibrant congregation that is hungry for Jesus. The pastor and his wife are really godly people, strong in the word and they keep everything centered on Jesus. Its really powerful to be around people, mostly all older than me, that I can glean from.
On Sunday, there was a halo around the sun while we were outside worshiping. Miraculous!
Here I am realizing that in most of the ministry I do in Thailand, I am the oldest. So there is such a refreshing sense of gratefulness dwelling in me to be around people that are (mostly) retired and yet, are so in love with God.
Some even remind me of my grandparents, and when I realized that - YEP, you guessed it - it made me cry, too!
Since both my parents have passed away and all my grandparents, I didn't really understand how having those people pour into your life was so significant. I guess I'll be doing a lot of crying as God shows me more why He used the verse He did which brought me here.
The verse He gave me was, "Get away with me and you'll recover your life!" From Matthew 11:28** in the Message Bible.
I want to be honest about this whole fasting thing, too. I started this blog, knowing that you may just want to get a chance to experience what a long fast is like. Prayerfully, its with the intent to encourage you to seek Holy Spirit in this way, too. However, I sense that I need to share more than just the good stuff.
This is not easy. I have so little strength today. And its been on and off the whole time. Totally unpredictable. I went to bed after an absolutely awesome Resurrection Sunday very very early. Somewhere between 6:30 and 7pm my head hit the pillow.
This morning when I finally looked at the clock, it was 11am. I am spending so much time resting in Him and sometimes that literally means RESTING. And I have to remember to listen to Him in those times. By just enjoying His tender presence.
His voice.
Doing nothing.
Just realizing how close He is.
And allowing more of that love to pour in.
Because another voice tries to enter in. The harder part, when my energy is so low, is rebuking the guilt and condemnation that is NOT from God.
No, I am not lazy.
No, I SHOULD NOT be doing something else.
A friend shared last week that, "It's not easy being me." We all laughed. And I think today, as I am battling, I am understanding what he may have meant. And I think even more about how our Savior responded to the battle... And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
So, today, my wise words are worship through the pain. Acknowledge Him. Tell Him you don't like this, but you trust Him anyway. He is God. He can take it. He is enough. And be reminded, as I was, that this (before we die) is the only time that we get to praise Him in the middle of what is difficult. Because in heaven, there is NO difficulty!
Can I get an Amen?!
Running to God, putting up my hands and celebrating Him in the middle of my pain is what I did, I am doing and I am going to do!
If you are going through something, I encourage you to join me. Here's what I'm listening to. When I was listening earlier, and got to the chorus in this song and they sang Hosanna, that's when I let it all go...
*Yesterday, I also went to another church for the first time. It was so powerful. The worship was AWESOME! They had a live re-enactment of the crucifixion. I want to share more, but it was so powerful, I think you need to see it. (I'll post when they put it on the website.)
From directly behind me a man was yelling, "Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" My whole being shuddered and cried through the whole thing. I just wanted to scream out, "NOOOOO!" But I hear the Father say, "But dear Amy, I had to do this..." And Holy Spirit comes to comforts me.
When Jesus rose again. I was on my knees, with my hands in the air rejoicing. I am trying to identify what I felt - I would call it the most joyful sadness I have ever experienced.
**The Lord gave me this scripture February 13, 2017 in Thailand at a prayer group we call Receive. It happens to be written on the church to I go to here, that is also closest to where I am staying. AND yesterday, at the new church, the pastor shared it from the pulpit.
I know!?! Awesome God, huh?!?
 |
| Thanks for reading! And if you want to contribute for a new pen, be a part of the NEW SCHOOLS project or be a supporter, go here. |
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