I wanted to find a time all day to share, but I had gotten a call at 2am from Singapore, that threw a little loop in my schedule. The travel agent was absolutely amazing! She was trying to book the details for the CFAN Experience Israel Trip 2017 for an hour and she had to call me back often.
With limited internet at the cabin and problems with my US Visa/Debit card with my foreign address, I finally had to give up and she suggested making a transfer at my bank in the little city closest to me. So my last day at the cabin was much busier than I had expected.
After our 10am Friday Bible study, where many of the women prayed for each other and then opened up about areas of repentance that they needed to confess in their own lives. This caused most of us to sit-up and pay attention to how God was speaking to our hearts. I also got to say good-bye to these women that have become very close in the short but deep time I have been with them.
Then, I darted off for the bank.
The customer service representative was amazing -- I got to share the love of God with her and saw her heart encouraged to be reminded of His goodness!I also stopped by the grocery store I had frequented a few times. The first, when the Lord encouraged me to help make some purchases for a homeless man, and I met 3 employees discussing God's love, when I walked up sharing the same. This man names, Jesse who had a heart to share Jesus and work with youth had talked of having some outreaches in the city. They even had their first outreach event in a community basketball court that day, with a chance to feed anyone that wanted food in the afternoon.
After I stopped at a gas station and filled up, I was also able to bless a few more people helping pay for their gas, reminding them that Jesus sees them, the Father provides and Holy Spirit's love is ours for the taking.
When I left the gas station, the Lord pointed out a woman crossing the street and I knew He was asking me to stop for her. I took a u-turn in the nearby school parking lot and met her at the bus stop as she approached.
She seemed a bit startled at first, as was to be expected when a stranger approaches you, stopping their blue Buick at the bus stop.
"You look like you are in some pain?" I asked, and getting this deep love for her from God that He wanted her to know He sees her.
She began to cry.
Where does it hurt? Legs, back and she had recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's. I told her about Jesus' love and that He wanted to heal her, she allowed me to pray and began to cry and share even more. She said she had missed her home and so I offered to give her a ride, if she wanted.
She told me it was quite far and out of the way, but as I prayed I knew that the Lord was giving me the thumbs up.
I told her, "If you trust me, I can take you home. I'll just need directions to get back to this part of town again to head home. I have some house cleaning to do!"
She was quite happy and Holy Spirit gave her peace. As I drove her home, she told me about her kids and their struggles and how she loved Jesus but didn't give Him everything. We prayed and talked and by the time we arrived at her trailer in the country, we were old friends. I even realized that she reminded me of my mom, as she was giving her life to Jesus.
We hugged and prayed again and her landlord came out and she shared the story of God's provision with him. We took this picture together.
I eventually got back to the Pointe and wanted to say good-bye to my sister in the Lord, Jan, who had become a good friend. When I went in to see her at her office, the staff told me she was not well. So I went to see her at her home. I was so thankful to see this hard-working woman resting, but she was in a lot of pain, so we prayed together and I could see a peace come over her, too.
Forgetting my energy and strength was so limited, I had to stop mid-way into cleaning to take a break after I finished the first floor.
At 12:34 on 5/6, I broke fast. Day 41! Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU) suggests breaking your fast slowly, starting with a raw salad and some melons.Here are some suggestions to help you end your fast properly:
- Break an extended water fast with fruit such as watermelon.
- While continuing to drink fruit or vegetable juices, add the following:
- First day: Add a raw salad.
- Second day: Add baked or boiled potato, no butter or seasoning.
- Third day: Add a steamed vegetable.
- Thereafter: Begin to reintroduce your normal diet.
But I didn't listen...I found microwave popcorn and thought, since Day 3 breaking a fast they suggest introducing a steamed vegetable, corn was close.
After a handful, though, I was full! But I kept eating.
I didn't want it to go to waste. (Not good self-control, by the way.) This showed me how I can be full and NOT listen to Holy Spirit. Beware of God's warning in Deuteronomy 31:20 "For when I have brought them into the land flowing with milk and honey, which I swore to give to their fathers, and they have eaten and are full and grown fat, they will turn to other gods and serve them, and despise me and break my covenant."
That was a big eye-opener about my own selfishness came through in something simple. But this whole week, since breaking my fast, I can see how I don't listen to God and do what I want. It's hard to admit this, but it really has been good to be confronted with this truth.
Now that I am back to a regular week, I still fast twice during the week and those days still seem to be the days that I am listening and obedient the most. Its still hard, though, now having so many blessings of food all around in the US. Tried to find an activity to do yesterday that did not involve food -- so difficult because its our go-to.
The thoughts that have gone through my mind and feelings that have gone through my body in this 40-day time have been really deep beautiful intimate moments of peace. Now, as its been a week since this time has ended, I am struggling much more, while I am eating and back around people because it seems their expectations are not so clear-cut as God's.
My life at the cabin was simple. Get up when He told me, read what He told me, go where He told me and even to say "No" when Holy Spirit lead me.
Now that I am back in my hometown, living with close family, but getting ready to go to Israel in less than a month, trying to apply as a substitute teacher in two districts close to home and waiting by the phone for work when the Christian school that I did my student teaching at calls me, I am much more dependent on others. And I can feel the discouragement trying to set in. I will look at Jesus. You can still lead me, I will still follow, You have never let me down...
Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you;
He will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22
I make a mean watermelon and salad, dear one. Love you. Great blog. Blessings from Mom and Dad ......
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