The last 2 weeks have been amazing! It's still a little hard to believe God has allowed me to do this.Fasting in itself is an incomparable experience, but the fact that I literally get to do it at a cabin in the wilderness, for 40 days, it is truly the most glorious gift!
I would love to share everything that has been happening, but I'll keep this post relatively pointed on what emotionally He's been doing...
I'll start with the dream He gave me today:
A friend and I were at this very well-known place that had organic gardens and we noticed a few tourists showing up, most ready to soak up the sun in their swimsuits. Looking at what I already had, I really wanted a red swim suit but decided to enjoy what God gave me and put on the brown and white one I had.
We went to the bathrooms, that were on the grounds, and I changed without even looking in the mirror. I didn't have to. I knew what God gave me was enough. He was enough and I trusted in what I knew I'd been given, confident in God's gift. Knowing Whose I was, was so freeing.
I was a bit nervous at being exposed. Not used to walking around in a swimsuit, I wanted to honor and represent my Father in heaven. Still modest, we began to walk the grounds and I saw more of what I hadn't seen.
There was a huge organic garden on the upper part of the property and then a track and field course for running and events on the lower part. Some trees covered the rest of the place, but I knew there was a lot more to see.
I saw that the owner really wanted to have more people join in to enjoy the beauty of what He had already done and work more on this place to bring even more people to enjoy the beauty and spend time with Him on the property. It was beautiful but needed some more workers to beautify it and bring in the harvest.
When I woke up, I realized I had just been reading Matthew 9:37-38: “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
I had had an idea that this was God's property and that me feeling exposed, but wanting to glorify my Father, had to do with the prayer I prayed before I went to sleep last night.
I had asked the Lord to give me a dream to help me understand the difference between Matthew 5:14-16:
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
And Matthew 6:16-18:
“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
For me to write this blog, I have felt that it needed to be between the Lord and I. Several times, I heard Holy Spirit to start writing and then, I just didn't have the confidence to keep writing.
That was until last night. I was reading Matthew, trying to get through all the of the gospels, Matthew, Mark Luke and John on Sunday, but I kept stopping. Stopping to write down what God was showing me. Stopping to pray and ask for His Word to be really sink deep into my Spirit. Then I got to Matthew 5:15 and those words cause me to earnestly pray: ...In the same way, let your light shine before others...
I feel like I am having the one of the most amazing times of my life, just being still with God in this beautiful place He has given me, so of course I want to shine Jesus right now. So here goes:
Today is Day 15, but the first day of my blog.
The experience of even getting here, I can tell about, but some of the rest is so hard to explain. I can see things change in my Spirit but I have little idea how to share it.
I am in the middle of a forest on an island that only God could orchestrate. A month before I ever knew this place existed, I drew a picture of it. On God's encouragement, I drew a brown cabin-looking home, with yellow light coming from the house and inside the house. I was seated in the left upper window writing fervently all that the Lord had done, is doing, was showing He would do. We were to be away together, just Jesus and I and He highlighted Matthew 11:28. Most versions read something like this: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." We were reading this verse in our Receive Prayer group that February 13, out of the Message Bible: "Come away with me and I will restore your life!"
I asked the Lord, "How long, a month?"
He replied, "Three months!"
"That's a long time to be 'off the grid,'" I thought to myself. But when I imagined taking that much time away, I also had some of those worldly fears in me -- ie. what would people, especially my supporters think, if I was 'not working' that long?!? I was excited about the idea and the idea of writing all that God was doing. After our time to reflect with God was up, I shared with the other women at Receive, what I believed the Lord had said and tucked away the thought, thoroughly enjoying that time the Lord had shared with me, secretly wondering in faith how He would do it.
I tucked away the picture, went on with my daily responsibility at the school, preparing lesson plans, running our Friday Lighthouse program and planning the details to come back to the USA for a long furlough in March.
Once we landed in the US, Faith Bible Church in Seattle was our host. The three of us, from our team in Thailand, felt so honored by all they wanted to do for us and shared with us in our 4 days in the Northwest mega-city.
When Sunday came we shared in front of the church, but I didn't say much. After two of our leaders shared about our new school projects, the MC asked us each for our personal prayer requests. With some real hesitation, but a definite nudging from Holy Spirit, I mentioned I needed prayer to find a place in the wilderness to be alone with the Lord -- but I was only bold enough to say, for a month to two months. Then a couple came up after everyone prayed.
They said, "I think we've got your place."
I started crying when they described it to me -- little phone signal, no internet and minimum facilites close-by. And then when they sent me a photo, I cried again. I showed them the picture I had drawn and they were surprised too at the almost identical features. Except the garage was on the opposite side of the house and I had drawn a red tractor in front of it, when the garage was actually red! Even the water close by in the picture was critical because we are on an island and the yellow I had drawn both inside and outside of the house, was critical because all the inside walls are painted yellow! Amazing God!
I have been able to take a bike ride, walk or drive to the only place that has good internet around me, about a 5 minute bike ride away, uphill. But my strength was not been that great, but I heard the Lord loud and clear to go today.
Signing off for today. They are closing this place up. I'm excited for all Holy Spirit is doing. I pray that this has blessed you and encouraged you that He is more than enough! He is the best Dad ever...
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